Table of Contents
Ah, the bull market. Green candles everywhere, Twitter’s losing its mind, and that buddy of yours who didn’t even know what Bitcoin was last month is now all-in on something called $FUCKINU with a market cap of $12. Everyone thinks making money is guaranteed. But here’s what nobody tells you:
Exchanges will bleed you dry even when the whole damn market is pumping. And they do it in ways sneakier than your ex with a burner phone.
So let’s break down how exchanges screw you over—right under your nose.
1. Fees, Fees, and More F*cking Fees
We all know exchanges charge fees. But very few people actually calculate how much they lose. That sweet little 0.1% spot fee looks innocent—until you realize you’re flipping 10 trades a week like a caffeinated degenerate. Within a month, you’ve basically paid for a two-day vacation in Ibiza.
And don’t even get me started on withdrawal fees. Some are so insane it feels like you’re paying for a private jet to deliver your USDT.
2. The Spread: The Silent Wallet Killer
Even when exchanges brag about “zero fees,” they’re still ripping you off with the spread. That tiny difference between the buy and sell price? That’s their little cut. Every. Single. Time.
Wanna buy at $1.00? They’ll sell at $1.01. Wanna sell? They’ll offer $0.99.
And you think, “It’s just a cent.” Yeah, but do it a thousand times and watch your portfolio quietly bleed.
3. Liquidations Always Hit Just Right (For Them)
Using leverage? Congrats. You’ve entered the casino where the house not only wins but knows your liquidation level down to the decimal.
Set a stop-loss? That price is basically a neon sign saying “Hit me here.”
Somehow the price magically taps your liquidation level, wipes your ass clean, and then rebounds in the exact direction you wanted.
Coincidence? No, my friend. The exchange knows more about your trade than you do.
4. “System Maintenance” at the Worst Possible Time
“Oops, our system is overloaded.”
“Due to high demand, trading is temporarily paused.”
Translation: Everyone’s buying, but you’re not. Or worse — everyone’s selling, and you’re locked out.
Meanwhile, fees are piling up and the exchange is living its best life, while you’re refreshing the screen like a sweaty degenerate in panic mode.
5. Delisting Your Bags Without Warning
Got a low-cap gem that’s “about to moon”? Cute. Too bad the exchange is delisting it tomorrow with zero notice and a withdrawal window tighter than a tax office deadline.
Go on vacation, miss the email, or just blink too slow — and poof, your token is gone with the blockchain wind.
And the exchange? “Sorry bro, check the fine print.”
6. Market Making… Against YOU
Not all exchanges, but let’s be real — some are basically trading against their users through in-house market makers or shady partners.
Ever noticed how:
-
Your limit order just barely doesn’t fill?
-
Your stop-loss gets nuked and price bounces back immediately?
-
Your order gets front-run?
Yeah. That’s not bad luck. That’s an algorithm licking its lips.
7. Airdrops and Staking? Only When It’s Convenient
Your token had an airdrop? Congrats — just not on that exchange.
And staking? Sure, if you’re into earning 1% APY while the exchange pockets 12% and tells you it’s “secure passive income.”
Thanks for nothing.
Final Thoughts: The Exchange Is Not Your Friend
Bull market or not, exchanges don’t give a shit about you. They’re not your buddy. They’re a finely-tuned business model that thrives off your FOMO, impatience, and bad entries.
So next time you see banners like “Zero fees! Trade now!”, remember this:
Nothing is free in crypto. Exchanges never lose — you do.
